Jude,
It was funny running into you last night at the Sushi place. Â Sitting three stools over from you and feeling a million miles away. Like a thief, like someone doing something wrong, like a clandestine operation… I saw you sneaking looks over at me.
I know you thought we had a moment at the end but its so over. Isn’t is strange how you can be so in love with someone, and then they make you feel so bad…that you don’t even want to be around them anymore?
I really loved you. I really did. It’s sad to think its so over. Not because I want it to be…because my spirit just had enough. I have an inexplicable aversion to you. Your skin looks different.
Nothing could make me love you ever again. You make me nauseous. I hate being around you. Even in public. Even without speaking.
Don’t hold on to hope with me. I’ve seen other things. I like the way they make me feel.
I’m sorry.
Why do you look so old? Why do you look so tired?
I’m happy. I look pretty. I’m free.
James.